EDITORIAL
Hi All,PICTURE
At the AGM it was nice to see some new faces, two new members are pictured
above, Claire and Stephanie, we all hope they enjoy the CAMEO group and hope
you can come to lots of the meetings, when we have some meeting that is!
PLEASE SUPPORT THE CLUB
Our St George's Day Party was cancelled due to lack of support, as only 9 people
were going to attend the event. As Michelle of the Mayflower Club says "Use
It or Lose It", this is very good advice.
The situation is very serious, if you do not support the Club it will cease
to exist.
At the moment we have only one venue, although we are trying to find new ones.
If we lose our only venue, well you can see the problem! The Poole, Bournemouth
and Christchurch area has a very large population and there must be hundreds
if not thousands of people who range from the occasional crossdresser to confused
women with men's bodies, all these girls need our support. As time goes by a
percentage of these girls will wish to "Come out of the closet" and
will require somewhere to go for support, if there is nowhere for them to go
on a regularbasis, without travailing miles, it could be quite serious for them.So
PLEASE support the Club
"The more COME the more FUN"
The hitchhikers guide to Stockings and Tights.
Wolford call it legwear, Dressing up your legs is probably the most important part when wearing a skirt or dress. I hope to save you money by informing you of what to buy or not buy and why this apparel is so very diverse. I most point out now that I am focusing this on the taller girl, as this is a problem area. As you have probably decided what is best for you great, but for those in search of perfection please read on.
Sizing.
One size S M L XL XXX.....
Levante offer XL, which is not really what it seems. However these tights and
stockings are designed for the slimmer of us (up to size 16), The Hold ups are
very good and fit anyone up to size 18/20. The XL size is a necessity if your
inside leg is 32” or more. If your are big footed this makes it all the
more important. Only buy large if your inside leg is 29” or less. If you
are very slim you may need to go a size lower. These tights are made of similar
material for all tights and stocking and give a specific horizontal lining which
is very attractive and typically Italian to suit a lovely tan. They stretch
in both directions and are therefore subject to the Dress size effect, which
is good giving a darker effect if you have very slim legs; you may not want
this so a smaller size or another make might be better.
The recommended Colours are Nero (Black) and Londra (Barely black). This gives a stunning effect. The Internet supplier is figleaves.com but some stores keep them. Local Poole and Bournemouth have stopped some of the range. Avoid Chocolate, pink, red and blue and some nearly blacks, as these are two indeterminate for our uses.
Finish.
Only buy gloss in Black unless you want your legs to distract from the rest
of you, You must have very nice legs to wear gloss in flesh colours. My belief
is that CD’s must wear black nearly all the time if the legs show much
at all. Transparent flesh colours are best and get sheer to waist if you wear
miniskirts. Plain matt is good also if you get the right colour and sheer. It’s
bit difficult getting this right, Satin finish tights are good for everyday
wear giving a touch of glamour but again choose colour carefully and get a good
make that won’t ladder or mark easily. Pretty Polly does some Italian style and these are good but you need the XL
with extra back panel for comfort. These will be cheaper than other makes but
they will let you down with a quick ladder appearing before you can say Cameo!
Price.
BHS sell cheap reasonable stockings and tights, they are quite elastic and fit
well, however you will be back to the shops quite often as they pull giving
a horizontal mark and hence look tatty very quickly, this is OK for that odd
occasional wear. My advice is to buys 2 pairs at a time once you have tried
them for fit. Seconds in Wolford are good value as these tights last very well and damage
less easily; A pair of cotton gloves (Superdrug) can be very useful after a
day under cars or in the workshop.
Comfort.
Wolford are the most comfortable providing the size is right and you need XL
for Opaque tights, some styles only go to large The height chart on the packet
is pessimistic and I find the large size in a individual 10 adequate, but my
opaques are Extra large. These tights also only develop small holes, which don’t
develop into streaks, lines and ladders. If you unlucky you will get a ladder,
and this is due to over stretching around the crotch area when putting them
on or if you have twisted them from the toe to the thigh. Whether for Bedroom,
Daywear, Nightwear you will be pleased. I have had no luck with Sainsburys or
Tesco tights, as they seem to just break and are not very pleasant to wear considering
some of the higher prices for Lace Top’s etc. Always buy large packet
hosiery and you can’t go too wrong unless you use Onesize stocking where
the £1.75 range of designer colours is very good for the bedroom!
Good luck and send in your queries for a personal answer,I have loads more info.
Katie.
Gender Dysphoria
From: http://www.looking-glass.greenend.org.uk
What is a transsexual?
Most people never have to ask themselves the question "Am I male or female?".
They only have to look at their body and the answer is obvious. For transsexuals,
the sex of their body feels totally wrong, because the way that they see the
world is that of the opposite physical sex.
This is often very confusing for the transsexual, since most people expect a
male body to contain a man, and a female body to contain a woman. This is not
true for transexuals, and the fact that they have the wrong physical characteristics
for their true sex makes them very unhappy.
There are two types of transsexuals. Male to female transsexuals have a male
body and a female mind, whereas female to male transsexuals have a female body
and a male mind. Transsexualism is a rare condition (although no one knows exactly
how rare), but there are thousands of transsexuals living in Britain. In fact,
although you may not have realised it, you have probably already met a transsexual.
What causes transsexualism?
Nobody knows for sure. Some people think that transsexualism is a psychological
condition, with no physical cause, but recent research into the human brain
has shown that male and female brains are different in structure. Scientists
who have studied the brains of transsexuals have found that their brains are
structured like those of their psychological rather than their physical sex.
This strongly suggests that there is a physical event that causes the condition
which occurs during the development of the brain while in the womb, and that
it is a type of intersex condition (that is, the body is physically neither
male nor female but has some characteristics of both). There are a number of
possible causes for this.
Do transsexuals always know that they are transsexual?
Not always. The world is full of people who are the same sex as their bodies,
and it is often difficult for transsexuals to understand exactly what the problem
is. Instead they just have a deep feeling of wrongness that takes many years
to understand for what it is.
Some transsexuals know that they are members of the 'opposite' sex from the
time that they are aware that there is a difference between men and women, others
are aware that they want to be the other sex without understanding why, and
others believe that they are not transsexual into middle or old age before they
understand the truth about themselves.
Is transsexualism a lifestyle choice?
Absolutely not. The process of changing gender role is an extremely painful
one, and is always a last resort, usually done only after years of soul searching.
Transsexuals are sometimes accused of being selfish, but the difficult change
that they undergo is never the result of a whim, idle curiosity or boredom.
They choose that path because no other way of life is bearable for them. Transsexuals
are born, not made.
Are transsexuals just homosexuals who can't come to terms with their own sexuality?
No. It is easy to confuse sexual orientation (whether someone is attracted to
men or women) with gender identity (whether someone is male or female). Transsexuals
have a gender identity that is different from their physical sex, and this is
not related to whether they are sexually attracted to men or women. There are
heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual and asexual transsexuals.
Are transsexuals the same as transvestites?
No again. Transvestites are people who get sexual or emotional pleasure from
wearing the clothing of the opposite sex. The vast majority of transvestites
are men. Transvestites are perfectly content to remain with the body that they
have, but enjoy the fantasy of pretending to be a member of the opposite sex.
Because transsexuals have the wrong body it can be difficult for them to develop
sexually. Some times they are not very attracted to members of either sex, since
the role that they would have to perform in any sexual relationship would feel
wrong. The idea of being a member of the opposite physical sex may become the
only way in which they can express their own sexuality, and their sexual fantasies
can become geared towards being that sex. This is not the same as transvestism,
but it is easy to confuse the two, and sometimes these transsexuals mistakenly
assume that they are transvestites.
Is there a cure for transsexualism?
Earlier this century, when the condition was less well understood. transsexualism
was classed as a mental illness. Psychiatrists tried to 'cure' transsexuals
by using techniques like aversion therapy or drugs. This never worked. There
is no way that a genuine transsexual can ever be content living in the wrong
gender role, and attempts to make a transsexual 'normal' always fail.
Transsexuals themselves often try to deal with the question of their gender
identity by ignoring it, or by denying that there is a problem. Unfortunately
neither of these methods works in the long term. They are simply ways of putting
off something that has to be dealt with, and only cause the transsexual's sense
of unhappiness to deepen until it reaches a crisis point. In general the sooner
transsexualism is treated the better the results of treatment are, so delay
can be very damaging.
The only successful treatment that has ever been found for transsexuals is for
them to live as members of the sex that they psychologically are. How this is
done varies from transsexual to transsexual, and can involve counselling, speech
therapy, electrolysis (removal of facial hair), hormones, and surgery.
However, sex reassignment is not an overnight fix for transsexualism. It is
a long, expensive and sometimes painful process, and the final result is something
of a compromise (for example, surgery makes transsexuals sterile). However,
nearly all transsexuals find that, despite sometimes being subject to prejudice
or discrimination, sex reassignment does offer them a suitable, enjoyable and
extremely fulfilling life.
I think I might be transsexual.
What should I do now?
It is usually a good idea for you to arrange counselling. This can sometimes
be done through your GP, although you may need to find a counsellor through
a helpline or support group. You should be very careful when looking for a counsellor,
since the wrong advice can be extremely harmful. Try to find a qualified and
experienced counsellor, preferably one with experience in dealing with clients
with gender identity issues.
Counselling will hopefully help you to decide whether or not you are transsexual
and the best way to proceed. Surgery is not the only alternative. For various
reasons, for example family commitments, some transsexuals choose to put up
with the acute unhappiness of living in the wrong gender role, or to change
role but stop short of taking hormones or of surgery. It is you who will have
to live with the consequences of any decision that you make, so it is best to
look carefully at all the alternatives and decide which one is best for you.
Counselling or psychotherapy will hopefully help you to do this.
You may also find it helpful to join a support group. No matter how understanding
your GP or your counsellor might be, it is impossible for them to understand
what it actually feels like to be going through the process of coming to terms
with your gender and what to do about it. The experience of others going through
the same process can be very helpful, although you should be aware that you
will not necessarily get on with someone just because they have the same medical
condition as you. Some
organisations support both transsexuals and transvestites, others are exclusively
for transsexuals. At the end of this leaflet there is a list containing some
possible contacts hink that hormones and/
or surgery are the right course of action for you, then you will need to see
a consultant psychiatrist. You can do this either privately or through the NHS.
Either way you must have lived in the new gender role for at least a year (this
is called the Real Life Test) and have the approval of two psychiatrists before
surgery can take place.
The current situation within the NHS requires that you be referred to a specialist
Gender Identity Clinic. Some health authorities are refusing to pay for any
treatment, but even if you are lucky enough to be able to get funding, there
is a very long waiting list and it is highly
unlikely you will be seen before two years is up. The NHS insist on a minimum
of two years Real Life Test (sometimes more), and will sometimes not prescribe
hormones until a year or longer after the start of this.
With the current lack of money within the NHS, getting NHS treatment for trans
sexualism is becoming more and more difficult, and involves a much longer wait
than private treatment. A private psychiatrist can also prescribe hormones before
the start of the Real Life Test, which can make being accepted in the new gender
role easier, since it causes some of the physical characteristics of the new
sex to develop.
It is important to realise that there is far more to a successful transition
than hormones and surgery. If your GP can arrange speech therapy then this will
help you to develop the characteristics and social skills appropriate to your
new gender role. Sometimes a physical characteristic such as size will mean
that no matter how hard you work to adapt to your new role, people will still
be able to tell that you are a transsexual. Counselling may help in coming to
terms with this.
Finally it is important to understand that whatever you choose to do is entirely
up to you. Others can offer advice and help, but your decision and the responsibility
for it must be yours alone. Above all, remember that you are not alone, that
many others have struggled with similar problems and over come them. With time
and support you can overcome them too.
©The Looking Glass Society 1997. This leaflet may be freely reproduced in its entirety on a not-for-profit basis for any purpose which helps transsexuals, provided the text is not altered.
Useful resources
This leaflet is only a brief introduction to gender dysphoria. More information can be obtained from the following places.
The Beaumont Trust,
BM Charity, London, WC1N 3XX
Helpline -- (0171) 730 7453
Tuesday 7-11pm for transvestites,
Thursday 7-11pm for transsexuals
A support group for transvestites and
transsexuals.
The FTM Network, BM Network, London. WC1N 3XX - A support group for female to male transsexuals.
The Gender Trust, BM Gentrust, London, WC1N 3XX
Helpline -- 07000 790347 until 10pm each evening. - Internet -- http://www3.mistral.co.uk/gentrust/
A group providing information and help to transsexuals.
The Looking Glass Society: - Internet -- http://www.looking-glass.greenend.org.uk/
Email -- help@looking-glass.greenend.co.uk
An organisation providing detailed information on transsexualism including a
general primer and a medical guide,
available free over the Internet. They can also provide contact with a counsellor
or a psychiatrist.
Northern Concord, PO Box 258, Manchester, M60 1LN - Internet -- http://www.personal.u-net.com/~nconcord/
A support group in Manchester for transvestites and transsexuals.
Transsexual Women's Resource - Internet -- http://www.mindspring.com/~alawrence/
An excellent US based World Wide Web site containing information for male to
female transsexuals.
Jessica's Page
Hi Girls and All.
As you now know I have the great honour of being elected to the position of
Chair Lady and I hope that I will be able to perform my duties to the satisfaction
of you all.
At the AGM we agreed to abolish the subsidy for the Christmas meal. It seems
ludicrous the use all the annual subscription to fund this so instead the committee
will use this money to provide extra thing to do and see at the meetings. It
is hoped that firstly this will attract more existing members to attend and
also new members. Quite a few ideas were suggested and at the next committee
meeting these will be discussed and acted upon. We are looking for new venues
so if anybody knows a suitable safe place please let the committee know.
After the AGM had finished Naughty but Nice came along with their wares and
it seemed they were doing brisk business.
Another piece of my history
A long while ago when I was 22, like most of us, I tried to put my fem side
away. I actually destroyed all my clothes and things (this was the 2nd of 3
times I did this). At this time I was working as a furniture salesman and I
actually grew a beard and moustache but I did keep my hair long. It was in the
70’s, so long hair was OK. On this particular day I had to go to our shop
in Alton, so I pulled up in the car park. Just as I parked, a woman pulled up
beside me in her car and, as her daughter was getting out she told her to wait
and let the lady out of her car. Me, A Lady!!! Collar, tie, suit and that beard.
Well I thought if I couldn’t be taken as a man like that I might as well
go back to be a woman. So I did (part time only) I shaved off my beard which
was never to return.
Talking of jobs, I have had many jobs in my time and one sticks out in my memory.
I used to sell ladies knickers door to door. They were quite nice, stretchy
nylon 3pairs for a £1. One of my trademarks was that I offered a free
fitting service, which went down really well with the old ladies although they
never took me up on it, thank God. I actually did quite well for a while and
I had lots of laughs.
Nails
Some of you have noticed Carol’s and my nails at the club. We have them
done by Tracy Ling. She works at the Seven Studio in Romsey, a bit far but we
think it’s worth it. We have the nail extension put on and finished with
the nail art. It really boosts your confidence when you have nice nails, but
beware that wherever you go people notice them and ask about them. Tracy would
be pleased to quote you and be assured that she is very TV friendly.
Lastly
My facial hair removing is going very well. I have just had my 4th session and
for this one Emma increased the strength of the treatment to remove the more
stubborn hairs. It was no more uncomfortable than my first session but the results
should be even better. I have another one in 2 months and then after that the
interval will be greater. As you know this system only works on dark hairs but
Emma is now looking at another machine which will tackle light hairs. As of
now I only have about 5% dark hairs left so I am really looking forward to the
new machine. I can still recommend the treatment to anyone. That's me about
finished for this issue so bye for now.
Lots of love from Jessica
Sophie's Adventures as a Lady Registrar at Danielle's Bridal Weekend
The other day Danielle e-mailed me and asked if I would officiate at one of
her bridal weekends, at first I didn’t know if I should or not and I left
her waiting for a few weeks before I finally made up my mind and said yes.
So it was with some trepidation that they went along on at 3:30 on the Friday
22nd of March to the Washington hotel and met all the girls there and I really
did not know what to expect. Daniel was there of course and she helped me with
a rehearsal downstairs in the restaurant where the ceremonies were going to
take place. Then I started, I think that I did about two ceremonies, then a
little break and then some more. I was a little nervous at first but I think
that Sophie is quite an extrovert unlike her other male self who is a very introverted
and would never be able to do anything like that at all.
In the evening at eight there was a dinner party which I very much enjoyed.
The next day, Saturday, I’m afraid I arrived about half an hour late and
Danielle had to stand in for me for the first ceremony, but I didn’t think
she minded as this particular ceremony was being filmed by two girls from Thames
Television, exactly what they were filming it for I don’t know, but it
all added to the excitement of the occasion. I continued with the ceremonies
and must have officiated at maybe 13 or 14 in all and I must say that I really
enjoyed myself it was really very good fun. During one of the ceremonies the
girls from Thames Television and wired me up for sound with one of those radio
mikes so they must have been recording the ceremony, again exactly what for
I am not certain, so you never know one-day you might hear my voice on television
although you probably won’t see me.
Two of the couple’s were actual partners one was man and wife and the
other about to be married for real. On both occasions the couple’s both
cross dressed, it all seemed very bizarre but while I was marrying them they
kept looking at each other and as a they were of course in love with each other
the whole thing was quite moving, it was all very strange, but as I said great
fun. During all these marriages there were of course bridesmaids and two of
them were Lucinda and Charlotte, the young daughters of Christine the owner
of the Washington.
After all the ceremonies were over all the bride’s went out into the garden
for their group photographs.
In the evening there was another dinner, free to me the course and a raffle
which I won a prize.
For all this I must thank Danielle for asking me to do this for her as I really
did enjoy myself and I do hope that she asked me to do it again for her.
Sophie
The other day I went to London and after I had finished my business at The
Charing Cross Hospital, I popped into the V&A, as this is my favourite museum.
It is the largest museum of the decorative arts in the word and has 7 miles
of galleries and it’s all free now! And what do you think I saw in there,
yes you guessed right, Men In Skirts lots of then.
An exhibition called Men In Skirts looks at these clothes both from the past
and the present, some of which are incredibly beautiful and amazingly realised.
But the show - which is not at all about drag, but rather about skirts in a
masculine context - will probably be hard-pushed to convince men to wear them.
Indeed, the exhibition may well tell us more about why men don't wear skirts
than why they do. It may also reveal why we think that menswear is stuck in
a rut, and whether it is ever going to escape from it.
It was quite a strange experience as I stood there looking at all these fantastic
clothes in my skirt and I suppose anatomically a man and nobody took a blind
bit of notice of me, - is it not a strange world!
The V&A own description of the event is:
“On view from 8th February 2002 to 12th May 2002 in the Dress Gallery.
Men in Skirts is a quirky and ground breaking exhibition which celebrates those
designers who have sought to establish the skirt as an acceptable form of male
attire. Among them are Burberry, Dolce & Gabbana, Dries van Noten, Tommy
Hilfiger, Anna Sui, Yohji Yamamoto and, of course Jean Paul Gaultier, Vivienne
Westwood and many more.”
Sophie